our current lesson in life

I'll be honest... I have a temper. I can get upset, and when I do, it's not pretty. Lately Mason has been showing his anger more sometimes by growling, showing his teeth, balling up his fists, stomping away, probably among other things. And sometimes he'll go stomp into his room, slam his door, and start throwing or hitting stuff.

Not that I do ALL of those things, but I may do some (I know, not very mature of me). Well, I have come to a realization that I simply cannot ask Mason not to do these things if I do them myself. So I talked to Mason and told him that we need to help each other out and remind each other that we are not to yell, and that if we get angry we need to help each other calm down.

It's amazing what communication does. It's amazing when your child sees you taking responsibility for your actions, how they learn to take responsibility for their actions as well. We have already helped each other calm down. I have helped him, and he has helped me. Last night at bedtime for instance, Mason wasn't listening to me or doing what I asked him to do. I started to get upset and raise my voice and he said, "Remember?! We aren't supposed to get angry!" (in a very annoyed voice :o) It was hard for me, but I calmed down and stopped yelling.

And on crazy days like today, I was running around trying to keep my baby happy, while cleaning up my 2 year old's throw up and trying to take care of her. Days like this, when Mason doesn't get as much one on one attention, he tends to get angry easier. So I kept reminding him of our deal, and it actually helped! I'm hoping that this will permanently change our habits and help us deal with things more calmly.

Scott and I have had conversations before about how sometimes it feels like Mason won't listen until we yell at him. But I realized that nobody is happy at the end of a situation when I start yelling. I also realized that I can use my stern voice without actually yelling. And my stern voice also allows me to tell him how much I love him while still telling him the consequences of his actions.

I've also realized that structure is important to his happiness. One reason I know this is because structure is so important to me. A late bedtime or missed nap can drive me absolutely crazy. When the schedule isn't laid out for me, or something suddenly changes, it can drive me crazy. Being a control freak may have something to do with this, but my point is that I realized this is something that is hard for me to deal with. That realization helps me understand his breakdowns when something that he expects to happen does not happen.

Mason is such an enjoyable kid and I really love being with him. He makes me laugh and surprises me with the things he knows and remembers. My mother in law is good at finding the good in things, and she once told me that the things that are hard to deal with in our kids now will be what makes them the individuals they become someday. That was probably a year ago that she said it, but I still remember it. When we think Mason's not listening and being distracted by other things, maybe his mind is practicing to be like his dad someday. No, not in a bad way! Scott's mind is always going and those distractions get Scott's wheels turning and he's always coming up with fabulous new ideas.

In a nutshell, I am trying to remember that not only is Mason constantly learning and growing, but that I need to be too!